What is Truth?

 

When Jesus was under trial by Pilate and asked if He was a king Jesus responded with "Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice."  To that Pilate responded to Jesus, “What is truth?” 

It seems this is an age old question What is Truth?  In Satya, the second jewel of the Yamas I am  required to be always truthful.  I consider myself a truthful person.  When asked what I did last night, I tell the truth.  When asked by my doctor how much I weigh, I tell him exactly.  I report my naked weight, but it is truthful.  I am honest on my taxes.  Most importantly I was extremely truthful in my marriage.  Or was I?  Satya reaches beyond the surface truth and asks me to explore the core of my honesty.  Did I love my wife? Of course yes, very much.  Would I give up my life for her?  In essence I gave up 30 years my life through dedication, devotion and caregiving.  I set aside any personal and selfish desires out of  my love for her.  And I would do it again in a heartbeat.  So the answer to giving Satya to my wife is yes!  But when she asked me if the transplant drugs she was taking made her look old I lied like a cheap rug.  Why?  Because I loved her and did not want my wife to realize in the depths of her despair that these drugs were not only killing her, they were aging her prematurely.  But she loved me deeply and I was the only person she could depend on for an honest answer.  But yet I lied.  Why?

This is the problem I have with Satya and it is the hardest of the Yamas I must reconcile.  I am always truthful.  Truthfulness is an expression of love for another person.  Whether it be my wife of 30 years or a dear friend, I am truthful.  But yet I lie.  I lie about things that may be painful because sometimes the truth hurts.  If I say to a friend, I believe in you and you are awesome.  This is completely truthful.  Because I care about my friend and out of an expression of my love for them I encourage.  I  believe deep down in my heart that my friend is an awesome person.  But Satya cuts deeper than this.  It asks me to check-in with my morals when answering a question or making a statement.  So maybe sometimes I find it better not to say anything at all or to change the subject.  Because the truth can cause pain.  I want to be truthful with the people I love.  But at the same time I don't want to be hurtful.  This is the moral dilemma Satya has confronted me with.  Or, maybe I am just overthinking it.

I appreciate it when a friend calls me out or tells me their opinion and exactly how they feel about something.  I need to have people who act as my compass and unbiased mirror.  Who are willing to tell me straight-up that I was wrong or I am making something more complicated than it should be.  I can't begin to describe how important this level of Satya is and how much I need this in my life, especially now.

The challenge I have with Satya is balancing my love for my friend with a sense of compassion.  I don't want to say something mean like, you know you caused your own pain, especially when my friend is suffering.  So I say nothing or I quickly change the subject.  This is the challenge I have with Satya.  I don't think I can be raw and intimately honest when it hurts the person I love.  Or am I just over thinking it?

I want finish my life free of relational messes.  I want to make sure my friendships are real and I can trust the other person.  If one day I decide to have a woman in my life, we will be extremely truthful with each other.  I need raw and vulnerable discussions.  I crave intimacy not only in the bedroom but at the dinner table.  Because honesty and truthfulness are at the core of a loving relationship.  I learned long ago that lies only lead to more lies and dishonesty hurts people to the core.  There's no time left for this.

Am I truthful with myself?

Am I truthful with God?

Am I afraid of the truth?

Or am I overthinking it?

If I truly love someone, I give them Satya.

If you are my friend, give me Satya.  

Even if it hurts.

 

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