I don't know where I'm going from here

 

Be still and know that I am God.  

    Psalms 46:10

During meditation I recite the above bible verse.  I believe during meditation and in stillness we are able to hear God speak to us.  He sometimes speaks in subtle ways while other times God catches us by surprise.  It is not like we see a burning bush such as Moses witnessed in the desert.  Those days are long gone.  Instead we have to skillfully listen as we would to a close friend. We have to pay attention to hear His messages.  Sometimes I get them during meditation.  They become a feeling or intuition rising from the silence.  Other times such as happened today they are very loud and strong. Like a bullhorn a few inches from my ear God wanted to be heard.  Sometimes we find guidance from within, other times He sends a messenger.  

During walking meditation, I focus on my steps and balance.  I speak to my feet and say, "I know you don't know where you are going, but you can trust it to be safe."  By doing this I am able to keep balance and maintain the slow but steady gate required to keep a  mediative state.  I focus on how each step feels, keep my eyes soft for balance, relax my shoulders, and calm my mind to listen.  What did I hear today from God during walking meditation?  Nothing!  Dead silence! Crickets!  He chose to deliver His message another way.

Returning to my chair for a sitting meditation, I again focused on my breath, calmed my mind and allowed messages to come in.  I heard the wind softly rustling in the trees.  I felt the cool breeze gently touch my cheeks.  I felt this extreme sense of calm and inner confidence.  I believe God is calling me to some sort of service in Mexico.  I don't know why, exactly where, or when, but my meditation practice, especially walking meditation, helps restore confidence and trust in God.  I quell my ego and resign to Him.  To wait.  I continue my daily meditation ritual continually listening and praying for clues.  In the meditative state, all I discovered today was silence.  It was a little disappointing.

Then something miraculous happened.  As soon as I awoke from my mediation, the instructor, also my dear friend, was meeting with each student individually.  She was inspired and asked students to read a quotation from a flowered book that was created by another friend as a gift.   After all others had read their selection, she came to me, gently placed this small book in my hands and asked me to read a random quotation from it.  Well, there is nothing random about me so I selected the last page of this little gem.

It was a quote by David Bowie during a speech at his 50th birthday gig at New York's Madison Square Gardens on 9 January 1997.  After reading this I was overcome by emotion.  Tears started to well-up and I felt as if I would soon burst out crying.  My friend patiently waited as I regained composure.  In shaky voice I read the quote; I don't know where I am going from here, but I promise it won't be boring."  God sent my dear friend and this little handwritten book to tell me that although He was not ready to reveal His plan, whatever it is, it won't be boring.  As I continue my journey and try to have courage to trust God and understand what He has planned for me - God sent a messenger with the gift of encouragement.  What was even more amazing about this very emotional and special moment was that earlier in the day my friend and I sent each other messages reaffirming the bond of our friendship. 

We all need reassurance and encouragement.  It is important to validate our commitment to our friendships. This is especially true as we face change.  When times seem uncertain it is vital that we hold each other up  We must let those special people in our life know that we have their back.  No matter what, we will be there for each other.

God realized I needed encouragement.  So He sent a special friend to deliver this uplifting message in a little handmade book.  

I was caught by surprise.

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