Sitting in a pit of Grief asking God

 

Yamas and Niyamas Ethical and Individual Discipline

Most people when they think of Yoga they imagine physical poses or stretching exercises.  They imagine poses like downward dog or goddess pose.  Yes this is an important part of Yoga.  In Yoga we ask our body to move in ways that inspire discipline in one's life.  To take time and reflect on how our body is communicating with us.  To have a negotiation with our hamstring about how far we can stretch it until it argues with us and then to ask it to go one step farther.  This is physical part of Yoga is called Asana.  But there is more to Yoga than what we do on the mat or in my case in the chair.  There are actually eight limbs of Yoga exploring everything from the physical postures, to breathing techniques and moral codes.  

I decided to better understand the ethical codes of this age old practice by reading the book Yamas and Niyamas by Deborah Adele.  In her book, Ms. Adele explores Yoga's advice on how we should live life.  The Yamas are derived from a Sanskrit word that means "Restraints."  While the Niymas in Sanskrit are considered "Observances."  Rather than describe each one in this blog I have decided to explain how these impact my thinking and changes I want to make.  If you want to know more about what the Yamas and Niymas are and how to interpret them pleas pick up a copy of Ms. Adele's book.  What I intend to do here over the next series of posts is to describe what these mean to me.  I don't intend to offer some life changing advice or try to help you.  Rather this blog is sort of a confession to those that know me with the expectation they will know me better.  

Writing this is gut wrenching.  I am making inner secrets public.  Exposing myself naked and raw. If you don't like what you read, please turn away now.  This writing is not to benefit you, but for me as an act of courage, independence and mostly healing.   I am offering a peek into my personal diary or journal.  There is no lock on this book.  Read away.  But most importantly, take a moment to understand that I am a person just like you.  I was born, raised a certain way, educated, got married, divorced, fell in love, married again, and now living the life of a widower trying to climb out of this pit of grief.  

As I wrote in one of my latest poems:

My soulmate dead – a knife in my soul
I fell into pieces – no longer whole
Shards like glass pierce my broken heart
What do I do – where do I start?
 
Sitting in a pit of grief asking God
He said ego is in control - made you a fraud

The following pages are part of my healing.  To suppress my ego and write truthfully and from my heart.  Not for the faint of heart.  You may laugh, cry be shocked, surprised or get mad.  If I offend you I apologize in advance.  But this is part of my healing and if you dare, I invite you to be part of it. 

So here we go



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